One Shot Hour
by Mar the Roleplayer
Summary: Welcome to One Shot Hour, previously known as Bad Ship Hour at Grillby's. Enjoy these random one shots. The Bad Ship Hour story will stay, and it might even continue.
1. Just Getting a Drink (BSH 1)

**Before I start, this is based off of a roleplay, so if anything is different or out of character, it's cause it's a roleplay. I wanna thank Collie Senpai for being Sans,Alphys,and herself, Cyan-ce for being himself and the Mad Dummy,Ranchisranch for being himself and his OC Inferno,** **and** **TrueKnighthunter79 for being himself and his OC Arak! Everyone who is themselves will be a human.**

 **Undertale belongs to Toby Fox.**

 **This is a joke story so don't expect serious plots.**

 **I will do the next chapter if this fic gets five favorites!**

* * *

Grillby was sitting at the bar in his currently empty restaurant, waiting for a customer.

Out of nowhere,Undyne slammed the door open and stormed into the bar, sitting on a stool.

"Undyne. Well that's unexpect-"

"Just gimme the strongest drink you have" Undyne muttered.

Grillby placed a bottle of human beer and a cup on the counter,coming up with a new special hour for the restaurant.

Undyne grabbed the bottle, took off the cap, and took a hearty swig. She soon stated,"I dunt luv Papirus.. Sans come join meh. Forget all the bad ships like you and Mettaton."

Sans, who was already in there, sat down,"i'm gonna need a drink to forget sansby too... oh,no offense grillbz."

Alphys, who had come with Sans, spoke up,"I do n-not wanna think a-about S-S-Sans and Mettaton! Ick!"

"and if that robot touches my brother I will touch him with my Gaster Blaster."

Grillby placed a bottle of ketchup in front of Sans,"It's Bad Ship Hour. Everything is free as long as there's a bad ship about you. On the house, everyone."

"Woo!" Undyne blurted out,"And uh.. I do like Papyrus. Not gonna lie, but I don't luv him. I like him like a little brother."

Grillby nodded, understanding what Undyne meant.

Suddenly, the Mad Dummy slammed the door open, despite not having hands.

Cyan, who came with the Mad Dummy,walked in,"Mad Dummy X Frisk.. What the fuck.."

"You're welcome in too,Mad Dummy." Grillby greeted the newcomers, keeping his calm tone,"On the house."

Mar, who had come with Undyne, said,"People ship me with a friend which I wanna kill.. Does that count as a bad ship or not?"

Mad Dummy sat on a stool and barked out his order," **I WANT YOUR WEAKEST STUFF! SO THEN I CAN SLOWLY PULVERIZE IT! THEN I CAN SHOW THOSE DIRTY SIN SHIPPERS WHO'S THE REAL FUCKING CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP!"**

Undyne seemed to support the Mad Dummy as she held up her bottle,"Fuck yeah! Cheers!"

Cyan sat down next to the Mad Dummy,"Being shipped in real life is the worst.. Jesus.. Can't they get it that I'm a fucking loner! I'm not even sure of my sexual preference! I could be asexual for all I know! There's nothing wrong with it either! Gah!"

Grillby poured a clear liquid into a small glass and placed it in front of the Mad Dummy,"Enjoy." He then turned back towards Cyan and Mar,"Being shipped in real life? Welcome aboard then."

Mar sighed,"Seriously, I wanna tear that guy's insides out."

Cyan continued,"You know.. I don't even like half the people they ship me with.."

The Mad Dummy magically picked up his glass and downed it, shaking his head as a reaction to the taste.

After staring at the ketchup bottle for a long time, Sans handed it back to Grillby,"nah,nah grillbz. give me real alcohol. just ketchup isn't gonna do it today."

Grillby took the ketchup bottle and placed it back, soon putting a bottle of human beer in front of Sans,"It's the strongest we have."

Collie, who came with Sans and Alphys, cleared her throat,"Ughh, being shipped in real life? I know exactly what THAT'S like. Gather around everyone, I have a life story about dicks disguising themselves as friends."

Mar listened to Collie's story.

Collie took a deep breath then started," So this happened through last year. My brother had a group of pals he knew in real life, and he decided to introduce them to me. We got along well, despite the leader of the group, let's call him Mettaton, being kind of a jerk. I put up with it though. My best friend in the group was.. Hm. Let's just call him.. I dunno,Asriel. So it was me,Asriel,Mettaton, and three other people, one of which sounded like Sans..Seriously. Not joking, it was great. I was shipped with Asriel, to which I immediately went full tsundere on and shut it out immediately. They however kept doing it though, Asriel didn't like it either. So time went on, everything was fun, until one day when I was in League of Legends, and I noticed that Sans, Asriel, and Mettaton were on, not to mention they were on Skype. I messaged Mettaton to invite me into the party, but they went on without me. Asriel messaged me about a minute later, saying that Mettaton had called me a shitlord and a loser. For some reason, Mettaton had some beef with me and my big brother. So, from then, I immediately left the group, even Asriel, so I could forget the group. Yeah. So that was fun." She chuckled lightly.

Mar nodded in sympathy.

Sans had examined the bottle,"perfect. should keep me out of commission for a while."

"A-Are you really .. Sure you wanna do that?" Alphys warned.

"Of course I do!" Sans popped the lid off and started drinking it, despite the fact that he nearly choked at the start.

"Sans! Drinking contest! You and me!" Undyne challenged.

"LET'S DO THIS!" Sans exclaimed.

Undyne and Sans snagged some bottles and practically ripped the cap off.

"You're on!" Undyne started chugging her drink.

"i'll always win! THIS STUFF GOES RIGHT THROUGH ME ANYWAYS!" Sans challenged before starting to drink the beer.

Grillby turned towards Alphys,"So..Alphys. I have non-alcoholic drinks. If you want one just ask."

Alphys declined the offer,"Er, n-no thanks. I need to be sober to get Sans home just in case."

Arak, a skeleton, and Knight walked into Grillby's.

Arak then simply stated,"I don't have a ship and I'm glad that I don't, but Nightmare does with like two women."

"He has one with Zeta and Nawsmon, though he may have one with 'The Sludge'." Knight continued.

"She's lesbian though." Arak concluded,"Can I get a drink?"

Grillby responded,"You gotta pay if your not in a horrible ship."

"Come on Grillby,I know I don't have a ship, but can I please get a drink?"

"Five G" Grillby said simply.

Alphys decided to state," W-While floating around the I-Internet, I've seen a.. Erm. Me and Gaster and me and Mettaton. I am not fine with this."

Arak shrugged,"As long as it's not another princess AU- I mean here's five G!" He placed the money on the counter.

"Princess AU?" Grillby smirked then accepted the money, "Here's your drink." He placed a drink in front of Arak.

Arak nervously looked around,"Psh. Jokes on these people, I don't have weirdos creating fanfics of me." He chuckled nervously.

"But a Princess AU? Where did you come from?"

Arak smiled,"I'll tell you later, but for now, five Fireball Whiskeys!"

Meanwhile, Sans and Undyne were coughing, and then they went back to drinking.

"Hey..Grillby? A-Are you alright with Muffet paired with you?" Alphys asked.

"Muffet?" Grillby responded,"I barely even know her. Plus her spiders are always getting in here."

"So.. Are you fine with it or..?" Alphys asked.

"I find it odd, but me and Gaster is MUCH worse, no offense Sans."

Suddenly, a slam was heard from the counter. It had been Undyne, who finished her bottle,"DONE!"

Sans facedesked onto the bar, his drink nearly finished,"you beat me.. oh god i'm gonna have the worst hangover tomorrow."

"Sans, if you or Undyne passes out, I will NOT be able to take you home." Alphys warned Sans.

"pff.. it's fine." Sans sat up, finishing his drink.

Undyne grabbed another bottle and took a hearty swig out of it,"Nah, Ah'll be fine,Al!"

Grillby placed the five Fireball Whiskeys in front of Arak,"Twenty five G."

Arak placed thirty G on the counter,"So, anyway, I'm from this uni-" Suddenly, a dimensional portal appeared and sucked him into it,"Not again!"

"The fuck just happened?" Undyne asked herself.

Arak suddenly came back, wearing a university outfit,"That was not fun."

"Where the hell you've been?" Mar asked.

Arak glanced at her"From hell and back."

The Mad Dummy had been writing his will to his Ruins cousin," **Gah! Filthy weak humans! Putting us in unwanted relationships! WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?!"**

Arak sat down, muttering,"I wanna go back to hell."

"HUZZAH!" Undyne suddenly exclaimed, soon screaming a mix of Dogsong and Spear of Justice.

The Mad Dummy screamed a mix of all the fights that have Ghost Fight! in it.

Undyne was now screaming the whole OST.

Arak finnaly noticed his drinks,"Oh, thanks Grillby." He drank all of them and started twitching,"Sev-Seven more please!"

"What fun." Mar said sarcastically,"You okay Arak? Grillby, did you put weed in this stuff?"

Grillby shook his head then looked at Undyne and Sans,"How come neither of you have passed ou-"

Undyne cut off Grillby by facedesking the counter.

"Nevermind."

Sans muttered,"...i need.. more.."

Undyne, suddenly waking up, grabbed another bottle and poured it onto Sans,"Makin' it rain!"

Sans just screeched in response.

"O-OH MY GOD!" Alphys yelped in shock.

Mar was recording this. Once she finished recording, she started laughing and pounding on the counter.

Undyne lightly tapped Sans' head with the now empty bottle,"Wow."

Sans was pretty much drowning in the drink Undyne had poured onto him.

"Hoooooooly.." Alphys muttered to herself.

"Sans are you alright?" Grillby asked.

"Wait! I know the easiest way to fight Sans!" Undyne made Sans' SOUL green.

Sans immediately started sweating,"w-wait! let me go! undyne!"

"UNDYNE! What are you doing!?" Alphys asked frantically.

Undyne then stuck her hand into Sans' eye, a derpy expression on her face,"You can't stop me."

Grillby and Mar stayed silent as they watched.

"hoooooooooly fuck, I CAN SEE EVERYTHING I DON'T WANNA SEE!" Sans screeched, his eye glowing green.

Alphys was getting frantic,"Undyne! P-Please!"

Mar was laughing hysterically,"Oh my fucking god!"

Undyne got her hand out,"Okay okay." She turned Sans' SOUL back to normal,"Lazybonez. Gits nervous with a wittle bit of magic.

Ranch and Inferno walked into the restaurant and sat down.

"I dun drink." Inferno said, soon getting whipped by a dozen bottles of beer.

After a bit, Sans screamed,"WAI WUD YOU! DO THAT?!"

"Okay,I think you two have both had enough to drink!" Alphys said.

Undyne sluggishly shrugged,"Ey. I've been curious."

Grillby finnaly noticed Inferno,"Hey Inferno. Welcome to Bad Ship Hour. Everything is free if you're stuck in a bad ship like Sans X Mettaton."

"Bad ships?!" Inferno then kicked Ranch.

"OI! NOT MY FAULT THAT I'M THE SHIPMASTER!" Ranch glared at Inferno.

"AND I THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK ENOUGH TO FORGET THAT!" Sans commented.

Undyne stood up,"C'mon everyhune! To fresh air!" She stumbled into a table then made his way out the door.

Grillby was concerned..

Sans attempted to walk off of the bench but ended up faceplanting onto the floor"waidup!" He then stood up and followed Undyne.

"I..I should follow them.." Alphys stated.

Grillby nodded, grabbing two bottles of a shelf,"I'm bringing some bait."

"Good idea Grillby!"

Grillby soon ushered everyone out of the restaurant, then started following Sans and Undyne, Mar and Alphys joining him.

"where are we goin'?" Sans asked Undyne.

Undyne grinned,"Dat Core place!"


	2. Prepare Your Mind for Adventure (BSH 2)

I **wanna thank Collie Senpai for being Sans and Alphys, twighlightmercy for being herself (Crushie) and Papyrus, DGM10 King of the Nobodies for being his OC Scarlet, Cyan-ce for being himself and the Mad Dummy, Ranchisranch for being Chara, and Ckbrothers for being himself.**

 **Undertale belongs to Toby Fox**

 **Warning: This is when things get real weird.**

 **And no, this isn't a SansxUndyne or a AlphysxGrillby story, don't you dare start shipping anyone.**

* * *

"Dat Core place!" Undyne exclaimed.

Mar was shocked,"Holy shit, the Core... This just took a new turn.."

Chara appeared behind Undyne out of the blue,"I got reincarnated for story purposes."

Sans fistpumped the air,"THE CORE IS THE FUCKING SHIT! RAVE PARTY TIME!"

"R-Rave party? Uhm.." Alphys stuttered.

"WOOP SPEAR GLOW STICKS!" Undyne exclaimed.

Grillby turned towards Chara,"Welcome to Bad Ship Hour, demon child. In order for you to join us, you have to tell us a horrible ship that involves you."

Chara scoffed,"Easy! There are thousands, but here are some of the worst,"Chara cleared their throat," CharaxFrisk, CharaxAsriel,CharaxSans,CharaxEverything.. tip of the iceberg."

"Okay, You and Sans let you in here. Welcome aboard." Grillby felt uneasy by this.

"weapons?" Sans asked,"don't mind if I do!" He summoned a Gaster Blaster and blew up a wall.

"Jeez,Sans!" Alphys said, completely caught off guard.

Undyne then felt like rhyming for whatever reason,"Gee Sansy! You're the Gaster Blaster Master Caster! But this is an absolute Gaster Blaster Master Caster Disaster! Man, that wall's gonna need a Gaster Blaster Master Caster Disaster Plaster."

"I DAFUGGIN KNOW!" Sans exclaimed.

The Mad Dummy drank a ton of liquor before flying to the others," **WATCH WHERE YOU'RE POINTING YOUR FUCKING [DATA ERASED] WITH ALPHYS.."**

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Undyne launched a spear into the Core,"AH SHIT!"

Ck appeared out of nowhere,"Gerson and anybody."

"Welcome aboard." Grillby said.

 **"How would me and that human even...GAH!"** The Mad Dummy ranted.

Undyne suddenly started running to the edge of the Core.

" **DO IT! DO IT!"** The Mad Dummy chanted.

"No! We don't need UndynexGaster!" Cyan opposed.

Scarlet, who appeared out of literally nowhere, said,"Don't do it. You'll end up like me." There was static in her voice. Probably because she fell into the Core and somehow made it out.

Undyne dove off the edge and started..flying,"Hey come on! The oxygen's nice!"

The Mad Dummy flew near Undyne," **WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?! LITERALLY! YOU'RE A FISH?!"**

Scarlet was dumbfounded.

"I'M A FLYING SUSHIIIIIIIII!" Undyne screamed as she flew around.

The Mad Dummy pulled out a knife," **SUSHI IS A HUMAN DELICACY! ALLOW ME TO SERVE YOU THEN!"** He was somehow magically beaten by Undyne before the fight even started.

"FISH DOWN! FISH DOWN! MISSION ABORT! MISSION AB-" Suddenly,Undyne lost her ability to fly and she ended up crashlanding into the Core, causing a huge explosion.

Ck just sat alone,"I am so confused.."

"U-Undyne! Are you alright?!" Alphys shouted into the Core.

" **Why did the fish just kill itself?"** The Mad Dummy asked.

Sans screamed,"BITCHIN'!" Then dove into the Core. What a daredevil. He plopped into the Core.

"DAYUM DANIEL, HOW'D YA GET THE GUTS FOR THAT?" Undyne asked loudly, her voice echoing out of the Core.

Sans laughed in response and screeched,"I DON'T HAVE ANY GUTS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" He then faceplanted onto his Gaster Blaster, which brough him closer to Undyne.

" **NO ONE HERE'S CALLED DANIEL."** The Mad Dummy yelled down.

Alphys turned towards Grillby,"... Grillby. I think we should... You know... Erm... Get them far, far away from anything else they could b-blow up..."

"Dear god Alphys, what do you think is gonna happen to them?" Grillby asked, concerned.

"IT'S FUCKING HOOOOOOT!" Undyne shouted.

The Mad Dummy shouted back," **OBVIOUSLY IT'S HOT! WE'RE IN HOTLANDS! FUCKING _HOT_ LANDS! HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!"**

"MMMMMMAGIC!"

" **LEAVE THE MAGIC TO THE SCIENTIST! GAH!** "

"WHY THE FUCK AM I WEARING MY JACKET?!" Sans screamed.

"CUZ YOUR A FUCKING SKELETON!" Undyne yelled to Sans.

Alphys listened, a bit confused,"I think they're never coming out.."

"There goes the Royal Guard Captain." Grillby said bluntly.

"I'M DETERMINED TO ESCAPE THIS THING!" Undyne yelled.

"PLEASE DON'T MELT." Sans begged.

" **RRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!** " Undyne screamed.

Sans tossed his jacket onto Undyne,"IF IT ISN'T HOT IT SHOULD BE NOW!"

"Dear Asgore, what is going on?" Grillby asked himself. He shouldn't have given them drinks.

"I t-think we made a mistake by giving any of them drinks. Of any s-sort..." Alphys stuttered, glancing at Grillby.

Grillby just gazed into the Core, waiting for Sans and Undyne to somehow find their way out. He knew they would escape, somehow.

Grillby was right.

Mar got an idea,"Don't worry! I'll get them out!" She took a deep breath and screeched into the Core,"SANSxFLOWEY IS A REAL THIIIIIIIIING!" She stopped for a brief breather, then continued," UNDYNExGERSON!"

Undyne and Sans were disgusted.

"UNDYNExGERSON. UNDYNExGERSON. UNDYNExGERSON!"

"GGGRRRRRAAA! I'M GONNA DESTROY THAT SHIP!" Undyne said, her anger transforming her into her Undying form.

"FONTCEST! FONTCEST! FONTCEST!"

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Sans shouted.

Undyne, using her fish ablties, somehow jumped out of the Core.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU FISH BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!"

Papyrus appeared next to Grillby,"BROTHER! SWEAR JAR! NOW! NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE-"

"SHIT, PAPYRUS YOU MADE ME THINK OF FONTCEST!"

"W-What the hell is going on down there?!" Alphys asked.

Undyne made Sans' soul green, then she was shot out of the Core,"LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!" She had a trollface look on her face as she flew through the air.

Sans was literally fucking dead.

"Sans! Use your Gaster Blaster!" Grillby shouted into the Core.

Sans tried to move,and moved exactly an inch per second,"I CAN'T! SHE MADE MY SOUL GREEN! I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT!"

" **Just turn yourself blue and jump 'da fuck outta there!** " The Mad Dummy suggested.

"OH! I FORGOT I HAD THAT!" Sans made his soul blue and jumped the hell out of the Core, he then made his soul back to normal, and to top it all off, he dive bombed Undyne.

"AHH! SH-" Undyne then turned back to normal and faceplanted onto the ground, now outside the Core.

Alphys was panicking,"Grillby, we need to stop this madness! I-IT'S GONE TOO FAR!"

Grillby nodded,"Yep,we gotta restrain them. I just.. Wait, where's the bait I brought?"

Undyne let out a muffled laugh. Guess who drank the bait?

Sans sat on Undyne,"gg m8."

Undyne grabbed Sans and tried to slam dunk him into the Core.

" **Get fucking dunked on m8 8/8 get rekt.** " The Mad Dummy commented.

Sans stood on the very edge, stiff like a plank. What the hell?

"We need to lure them back to Grillby's, put them out, then get them sober.." Alphys planned.

"The bait I had is missing!" Grillby was getting frantic.

Papyrus narrowed his eyes at Sans,"YOU STILL HAVEN'T PUT THE MONEY IN THE JAR. DO IT NOW! NYEH!"

Sans slapped the money into the swear jar, somehow still defying gravity.

"GIT IN THERE." Undyne tried to shove Sans back into the Core. She must get revenge for being divebombed!

Sans kept defying gravity.

"SANS I'M GONNA KIK YOUR NUNEXISTANT BALLZ IF YOU KEEP DEFYIN' GRAVITY!"

"DUNT DUNK ME BALLS DUNKEY." Sans yelled, somehow mimicking Shrek.

"Who's gonna watch them while we get the bait?" Grillby asked Alphys.

"I'll get it!" Mar declared, then ran to Grillby's.

"Well that's settled."

Papyrus crept up behind Alphys,"I CAN SEE YOU ARE _THOROUGHLY BAMBOOZLED_ , DOCTOR ALPHYS! HAVE SOME ALPHABETTI SPAGHETTI!"

Alphys shoved Papyrus to Undyne and Sans,"Yo-You watch them! Er, Grillby and I need to go and fix your best friend and your brother!"

"NYEH!"

Crushie was running next to Mar,"Mar, I'm afraid I'll have to stop you in the name of DA RULEZ."

Grillby picked up Alphys and started carrying her to Grillby's.

Mar was already trying to unlock the door to Grillby's.

" **What the fuck is wrong with you guys?!** **GAH!** **FUTILE!** **FUTILE!** **FUTILE!** **My attempts are Futile! You're all drunken idiots!** " The Mad Dummy ranted.

"STUPID DOOOOOOOOOOO-" Mar screeched.

Crushie dropped a huge purple book onto Mar,"Da Rulez don't allow it,MAR."

"WHAT RULE AM I EVEN BREAKING! I'M TRYING TO UNLOCK THE DOOR!"

"THE RULE ABOUT ASKING PERMISSION TO OPEN DOORS!"

Grillby ran up to the doors and opened them, still holding Alphys,"It's my restaurant."

Papyrus randomly started talking,"YOU'RE ALL CRAZY! NYEH! YOU'L OBVIOUSLY BE CURED BY SOME..." He switched to a Mario voice, "FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI!"

Alphys was panicking,"This is a complete and total disaster!"

'I GUESS YOU CAN SAY THIS IS...wait." Sans somehow heard Alphys all the way from the Core.

Undyne made Sans' soul green and then tried to kick his nonexistant dick.

"UNDYNE. CONTROL YOURSELF." Papyrus said very loudly, or should I say, his normal voice.

"STAHP DEFYING GRAVITY!" Undyne roared at Sans.

"NEVEEEEERRRRR!" Sans shouted.

Undyne huffed and tried to kick Sans' nonexistent gential again.

"I DON'T HAVE THAT SHIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEETTT!"

Back with Grillby and Alphys...

Grillby left Alphys at the entrance and ran to the back, grabbing two bottles,"Found it!" He picked up Alphys and ran to the Core,Mar following the two.

The three arrived at the Core to see an odd sight.

Undyne's foot was stuck in Sans' pelvis. Sans was just lounging there, while Undyne was panicking.

Alphy's face turned beet red,"UNDYNE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Seeing her one true love like this was confusing and extremely weird to Alphys.

"I-I'M STUCK! I WAS GONNA KICK SANS' MAGIC INVISIBLE DICK."

"i am fine with this." Sans commented. To this day, nobody knows why Sans was okay with Undyne's foot being stuck in his pelvis.

"NO YOU'RE NOT." Alphys went up to Sans and held him tightly.

Mar grabbed Undyne, then started pulling her as Grillby readied the bait.

"Almost.." Alphys held onto Sans even tighter.

Sans just kept louging there,not caring that his private spot was invaded by a foot.

"I just wanted to prove Sans wroooooooooooong." Undyne whined as she hopped on one foot.

Soon, the fish foot unlatched from the skeleton pelvis.

Grillby then got an idea.. It might work or fail horribly,"Hey Sans.. I think the YouxMettaton ship is at the restaurant.."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Sans eye immediately glowed bright red, before running past Grillby, full sanic mode like nothing had ever happened.

Mar joined in,"Undyne.. The You and Gerson ship is at the restaurant.. Go kill it." She then latched onto Sans' jacket and was dragged to Grillby's at a fast speed.

Sans somehow didn't notice. He was too busy running.

Undyne let out a battle cry and caught up to Sans.

Grillby and Alphys followed them, right behind them.

Sans slammed the door open and ran in, followed by the others," WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU SICK BASTARDS?!"

SansxMettaton and UndynexGerson shippers appeared,"Our ships are normal n' shit n' stuff.'

"Who let these people in here?" Grillby asked himself.

Undyne let out yet another battle cry, then she started throwing spears at the shippers,"GIT 'EM!"

Sans started blasting the crap out of the shippers with his Gaster Blasters.

Within a minute and a half, the restaurant, somehow undamaged, was covered in blood and ashes.

"IS... IS... is that all of them?" Sans panted, exhausted.

"...I honestly have no idea..." Alphys commented.

Undyne saw one more shipper,"WAIT! THERE'S ONE MORE!" Undyne threw the spear and it hit the shipper's chest, therefore instantly killing him because magic.

"there's blood everywhere! ... or is that ketchup? either way, it's GREAT." Sans said, sounding like a maniac.

Mar,Alphys, and Grillby traded each other a look. Here we go again.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay everyone! I was punished until yesterday, then I was busy because of a road trip. When I came back, I immediately worked on the story. Though it's pretty damn hard to make this insanity that we roleplayed understandable. Then I ran out of time and had to go to bed, but hey, I finished it today at least.**

 **Dododododo, commercial break!**

 **Please favorite Collie Senpai's stories. They're so amazing that I can practically imagine them. She works extremely hard on her stories, and I hope that you like her stories alot.**

 **Dododododo, commercial break over!**

 **What's that? There's a moral in this chapter?**

 **Yep, here's the moral to this chapter:**

 **Shaving cream can be a good replacement for snow.**

 **Enjoy your moral that has to to absolutely nothing with the chapter.**

 **See you all next time, prepare your brain cells for insanity.**

 **-Mar**


	3. Bone Zone (BSH 2)

**I wanna thank Collie Senpai for being Sans and Alphys, Cyan-ce for being himself and the Mad Dummy, and last but not least NookieRookie for being Toriel.**

* * *

Sans looked unhealthyly excited,"THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE HOLY FUCK IT LOOKS LIKE KETCHUP!" He leaned over to Alphys,"is it wrong that i wanna try some?"

"YES!" The lizard scientist answered.

"SANZ NO I'LL KICK YOUR INVISIBLE MAGIC DICK " Undyne barked at the skeleton.

"Please no." Grillby didn't want to see the fish foot in the skeleton pelvis again.

Mar sprayed Sans with a water hose,"Bad Sans. Blood tastes like coins."

Sans hissed just like a cat,"BUT THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?" He then continued hissing... Chesire Sans confirmed? Neko Sans? We may never know.

"No. Coins taste like shit. That's bad."

"but why? why do they taste like shit, how do you know they taste like shit? have you actually eaten shit before?"

"Science and the internet told me they taste like shit."

Meanwhile Undyne just ran around like an idiot.

"What the flying fuck is going on?" Cyan asked, hiding behind the Mad Dummy.

" **OI!** **WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT ME!? JUST CAUSE I CAN FLY THAT MEANS I'M A FUCK?** " Mad Dummy yelled before throwing knives at the now fleeing Cyan.

"Sharkbait! Help me!" Cyan shouted like a damsel in distress.

" **Futile! FUTILE! FUTILE! No spear wielding sushi roll is going to save you from the MAD DUMMY!**!" The Mad Dummy cackled like a cheesy 80's villain.

Undyne suddenly got a brilliant idea,"NYEH HEH HEH! IT IS I, THE ALMIGHTY UNDYNE!"

Suddenly, sad music played in the background as the Mad Dummy spoke," **When you live in the Garbage Dump...you know what everything tastes like even..."**

Cyan interrupted the speech,"WOAH WOAH! We already have enough bad ships! No need for you to tell us about personal experiences!"

Sans tried to speak his mind,"i want to try to eat a co-" His attention was then diverted to Undyne, "are you impersonating my brother?!"

"Who wouldn't want to!" Cyan gushed, "He's the absolute coolest!

The Mad Dummy scoffed," **He's a freak with an even bigger ego than that robot Mettaton!"** How dare he nearly kinkshame a TV star.

"DON'T COMPARE MY CINNAMON ROLL TO THAT DISGUSTING ROBOT!" Sans shouted. Oh boy, smol skele is pissed.

Alphys was surprised,"Did... You just call your brother a cinnamon roll?"

"YES, I DID! DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!"

" **DON'T SCREAM AT ME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!**?" The Mad Dummy screamed, now getting cotton all over the bar.. Grillby isn't gonna clean that.

"Wait...so we all agree that Mettaton should be burning in the depths of the Core?" Cyan looked at Alphys nervously.

"... Erm... But I spent a lot of time... O-on him... And all... But if you guys don't like him, that's fine..." Alphys stammered, feeling a bit ashamed.

"IN OTHER WORDS HE SUCKS DICK." Sans declared.

Cue anime sweatdrop on Alphys.

"ENOUGH!" Undyne stood up on the bar and slammed a spear onto it.

Sans threw a bottle of ketchup, which landed next to Undyne, for no reason whatsoever.

" **I BET HE DOES IT TO RAISE HIS RATINGS!** " Ooooh shit. Mad Dummy started it again," **GAAAHH! VIEW WHORE!**

Cyan was getting nervous "...I kinda like Mettaton..

 **"No one asked YOUR OPINION HUMAN!"** Because apparently, Mad Dummy is racist.

Cyan went to a corner and sulked there. R.I.P Cyan's opinions.

Alphys decided to crack a small joke," Erm, w-would you say... That it took a lot of... Uhm... S-Sans?"

"DETERMINATION!" Sans yelled.

Undyne launched a spear for no reason.

The spear got stuck in Sans' pelvis. Oh no.

"THANKS FOR GIVING ME A DICK UNDYNE." Sans stared at his brand new MTT-brand spear dick. Only 14.99 each not including shipping and handling. Pun intended.

" **My mannequin levels are going of the charts!** **Could this mean?"** Mad Dummy's anger could no longer be supported in only one body" **FUUUUUUUU!"**

 _What's this? Mad Dummy is evolving!_

 _Congratulations! Your Mad Dummy evolved into Madtrio!_

Now THREE Mad Dummies were flying around and spilling cotton everywhere.

Toriel dragged Alphys out of the room, followed by Grillby. Goat Mom is pissed off.

"Thank you Toriel." Alphys sighed in relief.

"Take me with you, my majesty." Grillby begged.

"Don't tell me you don't want the bone zone, Undyne~." Sans got closer to Undyne.

Undyne made a distressed fish noise. Spear of Justice blared through the restaurant as Undyne screamed,"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

"IS THAT A YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?" Sans asked suggestively.

Sans and Undyne started screeching VERY, VERY loudly.

* * *

 **What the hell is going on?**

 **Fine out next time in..**

 **BAD SHIP HOUR AT GRILLBY'S!**

 **Sorry for the delay, I didn't think I had enough content for the chapter.**

 **Yeah, that's it. Sorry for the short chapter.**

 **See you next time!**

 **-Mar**


	4. It was all a Dream (BSH 4) (Finale?)

**Hoi everyone. I bet you were wondering what happened. Well.. I'LL TELL YOU AT THE END. CAUSE I'M EVIL. MWAHAHAHA.**

 **Beware of the excess profanity.**

 **This wasn't roleplayed, I literally came up with all of this two hours ago.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Suddenly, the world around Sans started fading to black... He soon toppled over backwards, the damn spear still in his pelvis. Undyne's screeching, Alphy's panicking, and the Mad Dummy's raging was becoming more and more faint.. Everything got darker, darker, and darker.. Until pitch black was all that Sans saw. He felt awfully floaty in his unconsciousness.

It's the end.

* * *

 **THREE HOURS LATER...**

Sans woke up so Papyrus 'NYEH'ing and Undyne lightly slapping him a gazillion times. He had a pounding headache, almost like a million alarm clocks went off at once. He struggled to sit up, but he gave up and laid there. He analyzed his surroundings, recognizing Papyrus,Undyne, Alphys, and even Grillby and the Mad Dummy. Frisk was there too, and Sans could faintly see Chara behind the child.

Toriel had come as well, since Papyrus had been screeching "COME VISIT MY LAZYBONES BROTHER, LADY BEHIND THE DOOR!" For five hours at the Ruins door. It didn't help that Undyne joined by spearing the door. Toriel still feels bad for the door.

Alphys was the first to notice that Sans woke up. She held Undyne's hand away from Sans' face, stammering "I th-think he's awake!" She didn't want Sans to lose the single HP he had. It'd be disgusting to watch him shrivel up and turn into useless as hell dust. She could only imagine the disaster THAT would cause.

" **FINNALY, YOU'RE AWAKE, LAZY ASS!** " Mad Dummy raged at Sans. What kind of idiot drinks five bottles in five minutes?! Damn!

"NYEH! SWEAR JAR, DUMMY!" Papyrus pointed his boney hand at a random jar.

The Mad Dummy screeched at the ceiling before raging his way to another room.. He crashed into a wall along the way.

Frisk kept their blank as fuck expression. God damn it Frisk. Show some fucking emotion, ya dingus! Frisk DID care though, but their blank expression made it seem as if they gave no fucks.

"You should stop playing poker, Frisk.. You never stop making that poker face." Chara commented. They didn't want to be here, but they were forced to due to sharing souls with Frisk like the besties they are. ...Chara had witnessed Frisk win at poker countless times, which is why their filthy fucking rich.

"NARRATOR! SWEAR JAR!" Papyrus glared at the fourth wall and pointed at the swear jar. Why was there so much profanity here?!

YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, PAPYRUS! UGH. MOVING ON.

Toriel was holding a pie, as usual. She placed it onto Sans' lap and gently rubbed his head,"I'm glad you're okay,Sans." No clue how Toriel learned Sans' name, since they were still Underground, but she knew it anyways.

Sans reached for the pie,muttering "Thanks.. Tori.." but he then fell asleep after raising his arm very very very very very, VERY, **VERY, _VERY, VERY_** slightly. You lazy son of a bitch, get up and eat your pie! Take your pills! Ain't nobody got time for your bullshit!

Mad Dummy rushed in and slammed onto the wall next to Papyrus' bed, which was where Sans was snoozing at, " **LAZY HOE! GET UP!** " Silly Mad Dummy! There aren't any farming tools here! Dumbass.

Undyne wound up her hand, ready to slap the fuck out of Sans. She wasn't able to be stopped by Alphy's, sending her hand colliding with Sans' skull, nearly sending the skeleton flying off the bed.

Sans shot awake, surprisingly not injured at all. His headache was worse than ever though. He sat up, groaning and rubbing his skull,"wha... what happe-" He was soon interrupted by Undyne forcing some pills into his mouth. He hastily swallowed them after the fish woman removed her hand from his mouth.. That's the third time Sans and Undyne intentionally make contact, ooh la la~... The pills tasted like fish to Sans.. Gross.

"I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE SENT YOU TO THAT PIGSTY!" Papyrus scolded loudly. "YOU WERE VERY LUCKY THAT ALPHYS WAS THERE OR ELSE YOU WOULD'VE BEEN DONE FOR!"

"You were talking about 'ships'.." Grillby finally said something,"Undyne followed along and the both of you had a drinking contest.. You immediately passed out."

"I-I had to carry you both home! And d-do you know how heavy your w-weight is on me?" Alphys pointed at her back, which felt horrible at this point.

Sans tried to process it,"...did i pass out for the whole night? i'm not surprised if that happened." He felt pity for Alphys. He truly did.

"YES, BROTHER! YOU SLEPT ALL NIGHT! THE GRRRRRRRRREAT PAPYRUS WAS AT YOUR SIDE THE WHOLE TIME! YOU'RE WELCOME!" Papyrus just HAD to drag out the R. God damn it, Papyrus.

Sans moaned and turned towards the window, catching sight of W.D Gaster.. Why wont Gaster let Sans be? The smol skeleton just wants to sleep. He tried to process his dream.. He had gotten drunk with Undyne.. He jumped into the Core, he killed some sinners, all while Grillby, Alphys, and a ton of random people followed the two drunks..

"Look, comedian." Chara spoke up, since only Sans and Frisk could see them,"Why don't you get that drunk in the Genocide Run instead?" They winked.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE, IN THAT VERY SCENARIO..**

"should..." Sans hiccuped,"should be burnin' in hell.." He then randomly fired Gaster Blasters and threw bones wherever he could. This kid is gonna get dunked on! They'll see!

Frisk got rekt around seventeen times. They soon came back and started attacking Sans while he attacked. Cheating little prick, follow the rules!

Sans was stumbling around in the Judgement Hall, somehow still avoiding the Genocidal human child. He looked like a sloppy ballerina. He somehow spontaneously puked then collapsed in the vomit, passing out.

Frisk walked up to Sans very slowly, kicked him softly, then started break dancing on him. Then they stabbed him thirty seven times across the soul.

Sans groaned, starting to release ketchup from his soul and mouth.. His very last words were," _...fuck you,kid..._ " He then turned to a pile of dust and ketchup remains. Rest in Spaghetti, Never Forgetti.

Frisk break danced on the dust and ketchup remains then skipped away, Funky Town blasting through the hall. They quickly killed Asgore and faced Flowey..

"Y-You're not supposed to be here th-that soon!" Flowey was caught off guard, and he only felt fear when Frisk stabbed him thirty seven times on the face. They pranced away to face Chara.

* * *

Sans couldn't imagine the scenario very well. He was too busy having a hangover, He started at Gaster, who stared at him. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity... Sans soon was picked up by Papyrus.

"NYEH! BROTHER! WE SHALL HAVE SPAGHETTI AT UNDYNE'S HOUSE! YOU SHALL JOIN US!" Papyrus indefinitely continued 'NYEH'ing afterwards.

Undyne and the Mad Dummy used their magic powers to blast the diddly-darn wall down. These two truly are magical! Damn!

The monsters (plus human and demon child) ran out the hole in the wall and headed to Undyne's house.

They soon all lived happily ever after and shit.

And Sans fell asleep right after they left the house. Lazy ass.

THE END.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, because it's the final one**..

 ***LE DRAMATIC GASP***

 **Yep, this isn't Bad Ship Hour anymore.**

 **It's One Shot Hour now. So get ready for random one shots that will still be based off my roleplaying experiences.**

 **Thank you for reading, and have a nice day, noon, night, whatever, but HERE ARE THE CREDITS FOR OUR MAIN CAST! GIVE THEM A ROUND OF APPLAUSE!**

 **Sans= Collie the Killer**

 **Alphys= Collie the Killer**

 **Mad Dummy= The King of Shades/ Tugula Senpai**

 **Grillby= Mar the Roleplayer**

 **Undyne= Mar the Roleplayer**

 **I want you all to visit my inspirations to make this! They all are great authors!**

 **Collie the Killer, author/creator of Understrife. She's an incredible author and artist**

 **Tugula Senpai, author/creator of Anothertale. Please go support him, as his AU is still a bit small.**

 **Ckbrothers, great friend and radical companion. Please check out all his fics!**

 **And finnaly,last but definitely not least,**

 **Koili the Artist, the very reason I joined Fanfiction! Her art and story quality is near perfect! Please, go check her fanfictions and her Deviantart account out**

 **That's all for now, so see you all next time!**


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